it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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