Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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