I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
