I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
