I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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