I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So. Much. Porn.
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