I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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