everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
