I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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