Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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