Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
