Dual....:-)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
