Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
