After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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