my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
