I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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