he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
