I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
