if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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