I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
