Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
