this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
