Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think i peed on brittanys purse
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
