I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
