You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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