went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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