i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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