I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
