we're chasing vodka with high fives
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
