I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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