the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You pole danced in your parka.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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