u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
