if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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