She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
