i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize