I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
