and you said cock pushups were impossible
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
