READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
