Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
