glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
