butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
