too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
