i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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