I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
