physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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