so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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