I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
