i jhust puked up my retainher.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize