One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
