I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
