I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
