Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
