is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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