He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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