please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
