East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
