I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
