You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
