just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
