Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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