He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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