why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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