Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
