He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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