I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
