im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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