i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
