If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize