operation have a gay friend backfired
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
